It must be a common feeling or need that people have to build themselves a cocoon. There are some interesting cocoon-like structures that people have built for themselves. 
I like the idea of building myself a cocoon as a way of coping with those who hurt me. A cocoon to communicate that access to me is ending and I am becoming free.
There is a delightful irony in that. Did you catch it?
When I was a child, I would look for cocoons as I walked through the fields.
By the way, a cocoon is not the same as a chrysalis. A chrysalis is specifically for a butterfly pupa. A cocoon is for moths and other insects. A cocoon can be hard or soft. It can either be disguised or purposefully hidden. It usually has some portion of it that is made of silk.
Psychidae Moth
Regardless, I used to look for them. When I would find one, I would not disturb it and I was careful not to hurt it. I would wait to find the tiny pieces of it left after it was broken open and the insect inside was gone. Finding it like that would make me endlessly wonder what had left it.
It is often well-known when it is time for an organism to enter a cocoon. It is time for me!
My cocoon can be tough or soft; it doesn’t matter to me. I want my cocoon to be both disguised and hidden. It will only be known to those few trusted souls who will not damage it.
It will be created by my own hands of the most valuable ingredients I have: hours upon hours and years upon years of sifting, sorting, mining, and cleaning all that is inside of me.
It will be a place of choice. A place in which I am finally free to choose.
This cocoon will not be a lonely place and it will not be a place of forced isolation. There will be a few people there who will love and comfort me.
My cocoon will be cool, breezy, and filled with all of the things that I like. It will not be dark. It will be translucent allowing filtered light to enter.
This cocoon of mine will be a place of protection and rest, but not a place for me to change. It will be a safe place for me to be while the outside world changes. Those who invade and steal from me will change. The cocoon will prevent the invasion of parasites which suck and steal from me. When I leave my cocoon, the uninformed person may think that I have changed. But, it will really be the parasites changing and withering from lack of getting what they want from me. The more time I spend in my protective cocoon, the more the parasites will weaken.
It will actually be a cocoon within a cocoon. Initially, when I enter the deepest cocoon, I will be there by myself. That will be okay. My choice of time there will appear random. But, it will actually have been well-planned. It will have to be well-planned because when I leave the deepest cocoon for the outer cocoon I am going to need a lot of help.
When I leave the deepest cocoon, the parasites are going to sense my presence and will attack viciously trying to get what they want. My outermost cocoon will be strong and protective too. Just as the parasites sense me, I will sense them. I will know of the attacks and it will be difficult for me not to abandon my cocoon completely and let the parasites have their fill of me. But, the longer I am in my cocoon, the stronger I will be.
The people who help me will give me lots of comfort so that I have strength to keep building. They will comfort me so that I know this cocoon building is worth the effort. They will comfort me so that I know that I am worth all of this work. They will comfort me because they love me. Love is the strongest and most protective of all the bricks I have for my cocoon.
Lastly, there is something important that I wonder:
When an insect pushes itself out of its cocoon, does it cry from the pain and effort of the ordeal that was the cocoon or does it feel something else?
I think I will cry.
It is ironic, but true: build a wall in order to be unrestricted? We normally think that whatever is in the cocoon is bound and restricted. What you are saying is that the opposite is true. It is there that you can establish your foundation from which you can revisit the world outside.
Yes! That is part of the irony of it all.
You ARE loved, Dearest.
Oh my dear….I understand that you wish for the parasites to be unable to touch you and I understand that you will not necessarily change (on the outside)….but what if…just what if you can rid yourself of those parasites without a cocoon? How do you find your happy place and peaceful heart without the cocoon? How about surrounding yourself with those who don’t take advantage of you. How about surrounding yourself with those who love you JUST as you are and already think… no… they KNOW, you are a gorgeous person with those agile powdery wings that fly toward every glimpse of light? I worry that you will find your cocoon, and when you are out you will feel rejuvination, only to be exposed again to those who want to make you return. I will protect your cocoon my dear, guard it with my life. But I will also protect you before and afterwards so that you never feel like you need a cocoon. And when it gets to the point where no one is safe….we’ll build our cocoons together far away from preditors and pesticides. Love you dear. 🙂
Thank you so much for such a wonderful response!!! It is a difficult thing sometimes to figure out how to be safe and still be a part of this wonderful world, isn’t it?? I am so grateful for people like you in my life who will help me be safe—inside or outside of my cocoon. And, when it is time to build our far away cocoons together, I have just the place……but you will have to watch out for the sasquatch!! Love you too!
“In order to become a butterfly, the caterpillar has to go through the cocoon process!” -Eric Thomas, though he correctly should have said ‘chrysalis’ but the meaning is the same. . .